month four

samson my sweet little bean,

holy cow are you hard to keep up with!

i think that is the sentiment that best sums up how i've felt this month. you're so constantly changing! every time i turn around you're doing something new and leaving something old behind. for instance, last week all you wanted to do was make fart noises ALL DAY. this week, you're constantly screaming, and there's not a bubble to be found. you also have started to like being held in a way that used to frustrate you, and you wanted the pacifier a couple of times for the first time in weeks. you're grabbing your feet a lot now, too, and i'm just gonna be blunt--you're going bald. you've taken to reading on the floor in lieu of your awesome rocking chair. this one makes me a bit sad, but at least you still like books.
and ohmygoodness the GRABBING!! it's like night and day--last month you just stared at everything. now it's so amazing to see you grabbing for them. i love when i hand you something and you understand what i'm doing and you take it and investigate it...with your mouth, of course:

samson's philosophy on EVERYTHING: hey, that's pretty cool. i bet it would be even cooler IN MY MOUTH.

August 7 at 7:45am

you've really become a little scientist. it's so awesome.

sam woke up in his bassinet this morning and propped himself up on his forearms to look around. he then scratched the mesh on the side next to him with his fingernails, and decided he liked the sound, so he kept doing it. it was so cool to see him discover something like that. he was like a little scientist. "hhmmm, yes, this is nice. i'll keep doing this."

August 10 at 8:28am

and your dad's take on that morning:
I was there, seemed more like a "hmmmm, yes, this sounds like it will wake the slaves..."

you are now napping in your crib, which is somehow quite freeing for me even though i never really felt i had to tiptoe around you when you slept in the living room. you also sleep in your bassinet now, which is NICE. it took me over a week to actually make the move instead of just talking about it. i really love cuddling you as you sleep, but the fact is, you really don't let me do that anymore anyway, so you were, in a sense, just a spacer between your dad and me--not good.
boy, i just looked back at last month's post and i can't believe how much has happened since then!! last month you rolled over, now this month you're not rolling as much, but you're just so WIGGLY! you get your knees up under your belly and push yourself forward or roll onto your side. it's so awesome! and we heard your laugh for the first time last month, and now you grace us with it all the time. :) you've been swimming many more times, and we play in your room all the time now. there's so much to do in there! and you love to sit outside every night once the sun goes down. you like to go for walks, but not when it's dark for some reason...

and cousin jenna came to visit!!
woohoo! we had a lot of fun with her
and got some awesome pictures. :)
i miss seeing her every year. i hope
we can do lots more visits and that you
will come to know her well.

so what else happened this month? we discovered you like playing the piano. you love all musical things in general i think. shakers, recorders, your dad's washboard tie, singing, dancing, ... you really get a kick out of all that stuff. i discovered on the 10th that you will do tummy time for like a week straight as long as there's something in front of you that fascinates you. this is helpful if i'm showering and we're home alone. ;)



on the 12th of july, you just would NOT SHUT UP! haha--

samson has been talking NONSTOP today, with a special affinity toward lip bubbling. what i wouldn't give to know what he was saying... ♥

July 12 at 5:30pm

the night of july 22 we came to a hurdle--you would no longer sleep soundly on your back or side, and i was still nervous about putting you to bed on your belly for the whole night. after MUCH deliberation, i decided to put the mattress from your bassinet on the bed between us and let you sleep on your belly that way. it worked! and you didn't die! wahoo! we did that for a few weeks until we decided to just put you in the bassinet a few nights ago. i wasn't sure you'd sleep as well all by your lonesome, but i don't think you feel lonesome at all in there. :)


on august 3rd you began waking only once a night to eat. usually around 1 or 2am, and then in the morning at 5 or 6. which i suppose counts as 2 feedings, but i'm just putting a positive spin on things, i guess. sometimes you're a weirdo and eat at 4 instead, which kind of gets our morning out of whack, but you can't win them all, right? you also started stretching out your day feedings a lot on the 29th, often times going 3 or 4 hours between instead of just 2.
i also started a website where all my fellow mommies can have discussions about how CRAZY you babies are. i think it will be a nice resource.
i love that your baby babbles are changing constantly. you figure out a new noise and then you get obsessed with it and treat the old noises like yesterday's bananas...or something. some days you're really quiet, and some days you're a blabbering maniac:

the look samson gives me when i babble back to him sometimes makes it seem like he's thinking, "geez, lady, it's about time! i've been trying to tell you--I ONLY SPEAK BABY!"

July 23 at 6:29pm


one of my favorite things to do is change the lyrics to nursery rhymes to teach you stuff like the names of your family members, the sounds the letters make, and the parts of your fat little baby body. it's super fun and you seem to really enjoy the repertoire we've built up. i'm also starting on some sign language with you, as i've heard that will help with the period when you'll be wanting so many things but still be working with a very limited vocabulary. i don't think you're anywhere near ready to use the signs yet, but i want to give myself time to memorize them. ;)
you hit the 15 pound mark on the 3rd, and are now almost 25 inches long!
on the 4th we had an incredible breakthrough: i finally let you "cry it out" and it has changed EVERYTHING. you were in your swing fussing while i was trying to eat breakfast. i knew all your needs had been met, and you were just being needy. so i sat with you and held your hand, and read you a book until you calmed down, and then i picked you up. i've had to do this probably 5 times since, and each time it gets a little easier and goes a little quicker. the amazing thing is how much less stressed i feel when you cry now. if i know you don't actually need anything from me and you're just being a stinker, i can handle it a lot better now. i think it has been a really positive thing for me.
the hardest part about this month has been the lack of time by myself and with your dad. his schedule almost never syncs up with mine anymore and i feel like it's really making me a grumpier person. i've never been much of one for "me time" either, but now i feel like i just need a LITTLE bit SOMETIMES ohpleasegod! i feel like all the stress is blinding me to all the good. i used to make it a point EVERY DAY to take note of and appreciate all the blessings in my life, and now i overlook them constantly. i'm so incredibly lucky to have you and jason and my family and friends and our home and my amazing job, but how often do i express my gratitude for these things anymore?? so, i'm doing my best to figure out ways to get more time with jason and more time to myself. we'll see how we're doing a month from now...i think if i can do this it will have an extremely positive effect on everyone and everything around me.
well, duty calls! your dad is off to work so i have to get my butt off of here!


i love you so much, and your constant evolution amazes me. my promise to you has always been to do what is best for you, no matter how hard it is for me. this proves harder and harder every month it seems, but it just makes me more and more determined not to break that promise, because with every day i see more and more how very worth it you are.
love,
mommy