Wednesday, August 25, 2010

one month/8 week update


so far, so good. i have had a couple days of fatigue, and my chest hurts worse and more often, but other than that it's been smooth sailing. i guess right now he is about the size of a raspberry, and growing a millimeter every day. he's got some webbed fingers and toes right now, and he's forming the beginnings of his eyes, ears, and some organs. he's hard at work in there! and i'm trying to work hard out here to give him all the help i can. a couple of times in the past few days i've had moments where i didn't feel like eating, but i still managed to do so without inducing any nausea, so that's good. i also added a DHA pill to my short list of supplements, which fortunately tastes like cinnamon. :) that's all for now. i'll leave you with this picture for future comparison:

Monday, August 23, 2010

homebirth

when i first started thinking about the financial side of having a baby, the most glaring question was, how much will the labor and delivery cost if we don't have insurance? i had heard numbers up to $10,000 from other people, and that, obviously, is money we don't exactly have saved up in a jar on top of the fridge. so, i thought i'd do a little research and see if homebirths are really as dangerous and crazy as everyone tries to make us believe. (many of you may already know my skepticism when it comes to common perceptions of things like this.)
one of the first things i came across was an article a friend showed me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christiane-northrup/c-section-or-natural-birt_b_323422.html
one of the things i really liked about that article is that so many of the quotations and references were shown in complete context, instead of little snippets that could have been purposely slanted one way or the other. i also appreciated her touching on the way things are done in other developed countries. i found the following to be quite upsetting:
"It's well known that the maternal death rate in any given population is a very good indicator of the overall health status of that population, as is infant mortality. Unlike most other developed countries, pregnancy-related death statistics for the United States include only women who die within a six-week period after a pregnancy ends. Other developed countries include deaths that occur up to one year afterward..." (the next paragraph has the actual numbers.)
we tend to cover up or misrepresent scary information in this country, and that can be very dangerous.
then there are all the tests done on the baby once it is born. many of these practices are now outdated and unnecessary, yet are still being done. for instance, vitamin k shots used to be given to help the baby's blood clot, as forceps were commonly used and could sometimes break the baby's skin. forceps are rarely used now, but the shots are still given. then there's this article on the eye drops: http://www.unhinderedliving.com/eyeointment.html
this page goes on for days about all the ways your child can be harmed in the hospital, even while still in your stomach: http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/robert_mendelsohn3.html
there are no citations on this site, so i've done some research of my own. for example, the author talks about the newborns being bathed with hexachlorophene soap, which can be absorbed through the skin and cause neurological damage. i checked into this, and found that this soap has been replaced by triclosan. but when i researched that, i found mountains of evidence suggesting that many different groups are now questioning the harmful side effects of that agent, (go here for a list of products it's used in: http://www.drbenkim.com/articles/triclosan-products.htm looks like i'll be getting some new handsoap. (you can read about the dangers of triclosan at the top of that page, as well as here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/07/AR2010040704621.html and here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samuel-s-epstein/the-dangers-of-triclosan_b_481323.html)
this study: http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/330/7505/1416 of over 7,000 women found that the rate of intervention in the homebirths assessed was much lower than for the same group of women giving birth in a hospital setting. the death rates were about the same in both settings. here are the findings of that study in a nutshell, with some info on the practice's reputation in other countries:

What is already known on this topic
Planned home births for low risk women in high resource countries where midwifery is well integrated into the healthcare system are associated with similar safety to low risk hospital birthsMidwives involved with home births are not well integrated into the healthcare system in the United StatesEvidence on safety of such home births is limited
What this study adds

Planned home births with certified professional midwives in the United States had similar rates of intrapartum and neonatal mortality to those of low risk hospital births
Medical intervention rates for planned home births were lower than for planned low risk hospital births

and this page shows the results of a very large number of studies: http://www.nashvillemidwife.com/safety.html

well, obviously i could go on for days about what i've found, so i'll leave it at this--overall, studies have shown that a homebirth with a professional midwife is at least as safe as one in a hospital, provided that the pregnancy is low-risk, and result in far fewer interventions.

my final take is this--when you give birth in a hospital, you are considered 2 things: a single number in a sea of other mothers, and a sick person whose delivery has the potential for disaster. in a hospital, giving birth is a business. you are one of many, so your delivery needs to be quick. and because of their (unfortunately understandable) fear of being sued, it also needs to be as controlled as possible. this means induction, unnecessary monitoring/exams, and c-sections (a whopping 33%!). (all of these things add up to more money for them, by the way, which should make anyone suspicious, in my opinion.) and most mothers don't put up a fight over any of this, because society tells us that giving birth is a terrifying, dangerous, messy, and inconvenient illness, so let's just schedule a time, and cut this baby out. then, once the baby is born, they will take it from you immediately to perform tests that you're expected to just go along with without explanation or evidence, at a time when the baby should still be getting nutrients through the umbilical cord, (which would still be pumping if it hadn't been cut already), bonding with it's mother while she still, for only a short time, has those labor-induced chemicals running through her body, and learning how to breastfeed at a time when it is most capable of doing so. forget that. i would much rather give birth to my child in the comfort of my own home, an environment whose germs he will already be immune to, in whichever position feels easiest and most comfortable for me, (which you can't do when you're hooked up to a dozen different machines in a hospital bed), at whatever pace feels right for me and my baby, with people around me who i know and love and trust. and when i hold my baby for the first time, i don't want any unnecessary distractions or interferences; i want that experience to be pure and unaltered. just me, jason, and this amazing new life.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

What?!

I am going to be in charge of raising a human being. I get so nervous, it as if the entire 18+ years of responsibility crashes down on my head every now and then. And I was such an easy going guy, but now I have these nerve-wracking moments of intensity. I know I should relax and let things happen as the happen, but I what do I know about being a father? I would wager the answer is less than most. I guess it would be a bad sign if I wasn't worried at all and thought I could handle it easily.

I do see the upside of the equation though, the responsibility might be huge but the payoff is bigger. I get the bragging rights to bringing superman/girl into this world. It's gonna be such an awesome experience to watch my kid grow up, to extend my family and probably be blown away by just how many lives this baby will touch.

The baby must already be influencing me, otherwise this post would have been a one or two sentence comment/joke.

Known baby superpowers list: Telepathy-Check
Shapeshifting-Check

Monday, August 16, 2010

sleeeeeeep

well, i think i have discovered the too-tired-to-do-anything part of the first trimester. for the past three days now i have felt pretty sluggish at work, and when i come home, all i want to do is eat and go to bed, which has not been good for my exercise routine, or my social life. it used to be dinner, gym, then something fun, like going to the movies. but now by 9 pm i'm falling asleep on the couch. yesterday i managed to make myself get up and do a ton of dishes and even go do a full-body exercise routine in my room, and fold a load of towels, before going to sleep. but i really need to get back to the gym; it's been a few days now. the plus side, i guess, though, is that i have been sleeping better, only waking up once or twice during the night, and falling back to sleep pretty quickly. (i am a notoriously terrible sleeper.)
that's it for now. for the most part i'm just feeling lucky that i have no morning sickness, since literally every woman i talk to says she had it all three trimesters.
i'll write that homebirth blog when i have the energy....



Thursday, August 12, 2010

first meeting with midwife

this morning we had our first meeting with the midwife i found online. i had already read a lot about her (treeoflifemidwifery.com), and just wanted to see if she was as awesome in person as she was in writing--and she totally was. :) jason and i both thought she seemed very kind, knowledgeable, trustworthy, intelligent, rational, and realistic, everything we were looking for. this first session we just talked and got to know each other, so i have no news about my little apparently-only-grain-of-rice sized baby. but i really felt comfortable with this lady, and felt like she seemed very capable, calm and honest. she said to make another appointment for about 10 weeks, because that's when she likes to do the first ultrasound. although i would have loved to have heard my little bean's hearbeat today, i still left feeling like i had found exactly what i was looking for.
i'll write more later about why i've decided on a homebirth. but right now, the GYM!

p.s.
jason just got an INCREDIBLE promotion today out of the blue. we're not allowed to discuss specific details, but we'll just say that it's one more amazing blessing to be thankful for.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

stomach discomfort and headaches

so far, there is not much to report. with the exception of today and yesterday, i have been having a strange discomfort in my stomach, that i can only describe as tight and big, almost as though i've just eaten an entire thanksgiving dinner by myself. it made it difficult to sit straight up. there were even times when i would feel this while simultaneously feeling very hungry, so it was like the outside of my belly felt really full, while the inside felt like it was starving. it was really weird. anyway, i noticed the day before yesterday that the feeling started right after my huge morning smoothie, and then of course lasted the rest of the day like usual. so i thought maybe i was eating too much at a time. so yesterday i made sure to stop myself right before i got really full at each meal, and i had no discomfort, and my shorts felt less tight. today i've done the same thing with the same results, so i think i will definitely be sticking with this.
i also started getting headaches again a few days ago, but the last couple days i spread my vitamins out further away from my morning cereal and smoothie, and it seems like that has helped.
that's all i have to report for now. meeting with the midwife tomorrow, so i'm sure there will be lots to share after that appointment. :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

vitamins

vitamins, vitamins, vitamins. this has been a real issue for me. i tried several different brands of prenatal vitamins, and got pretty severe headaches and one bad bout of nausea from them. i figure it's because i eat a lot of cereal, which is loaded to the brim with vitamins, so i'm just getting too much of something. so, i've just been taking a regular multi with a lot of folic acid in it, and letting the cereal take care of the rest. i added a calcium supplement when i found out i was pregnant, too. anyway, a friend's advice was to start them again once i was pregnant, because at that point maybe the extra won't be too much. so, today i took one of the 3-a-day kind at 7 am, and so far i feel great. i'll take another at lunch and see how it goes. i'll keep my fingers crossed...

Friday, August 6, 2010

the gym...dun dun dun

so i just had my first workout with this little raisin-sized blastocyst/former zygote, and it was pretty interesting. i have been reading a LOT about what kind of exercise is ok to do when you're pregnant, and it looks like during the first trimester i can stick relatively close to what i used to do, even though that was a lot by most womens' standards i suppose. the main points to follow were to keep my heart rate under 140, and don't exert myself past 7 on a scale of 1-10. since i haven't bought a heart rate monitor yet, i took it really easy today, and that was difficult. it all felt very foreign and strange, stopping at 8 reps instead of 10, and lifting much lighter. it was also hard to force myself to rest for longer periods in between. but whatever keeps him happy. :) i just consider myself lucky that i don't have any nausea or fatigue to keep me from working out. i do still feel really bloated and firm in my belly, so doing the ab exercises was weird. my stomach feels the same way it does when i eat WAY too much, even when i haven't eaten anything. it's just really tight, and sitting in some positions is uncomfortable. anyway, they say you can do ab exercises until you feel discomfort, but i think i might just leave them out. what's the point in having a six pack now anyway? :) i am worried about the next two trimesters, though. i'll have to chill out even more with the amount of weight, and i won't be able to do any exercises on my back. that means that all the work i put into being able to bench 100 lbs will have to be done all over again.
also, i have to pee a lot (!) already (which is apparently due to a 50% (!) increase in my blood volume). this is weird for someone who used to go like twice a day.
i want to make it clear, though, that these are NOT complaints, merely observations. i will do anything and everything this baby requires, and i will do it with a smile, because he's not even born yet, and he's already done so much for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

had some fun today researching how old the little bean probably is now, and what he's doing in there. i've come to the conclusion he is probably about 1 week old, and only implanted his tiny little self into my *hopefully* stellar uterus 3 days ago. what a journey he has already had! it started 5 weeks ago, when my belly made a modest little bungalow inside itself, hoping to entice a nice little couple by the name of mr. sperm and mrs. egg (who had just gotten married, but the mrs. had not yet legally changed her name...you know what a legal rigamarole that is...). my belly has apparently been doing this every month for many years to no avail, but it was not until last month that it would finally fulfill it's destiny. what patience! so the newlyweds settled in, after having honeymooned in my fallopian tubes, (i hear it's really nice there this time of year). and there, in their new home, made just for them, the two became one, and made a baby. :)



p.s.
although by all visual accounts this is obviously an it, i'm going to stick with calling it a he until proven otherwise. i'm sure he would appreciate it.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

first day of the rest of our AWESOME life

so today (day 3) is the day. it's finally hitting me. i can't stop smiling and thanking God, and i can't shake this feeling of wanting to scream "I LOVE YOU!" at the top of my lungs to a tiny little embryo i haven't even met yet. right now he(?)'s just a blob with no distinguishable features, but this blob is the best gift i could ever have asked for.

i woke up this morning, and thanked God for this amazing birthday present, and realized that for the next 9 months, every day will feel like my birthday. and then it hit me that after that, i would have a child. so really, every day of the rest of my life will be like the best birthday ever.

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so far, all i have to report is that the usual "symptoms" i would have at this "time of the month" are heightened. so basically, my chest hurts and my pants are snug. and i couldn't be happier.


it's finally justifiable that i bought this little guy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

the first of many pictures



video 5

video 4

video 3

video 2

Great things come to those who mate ;)

So Jason and I are finally having a baby. I say finally because I feel like I have wanted one forever, but in truth, we were very lucky, conceiving in only a few months. As I write this, I don't yet know if the baby is 1, 2, or 3 weeks old. All I know is that I'm going to do everything within my control to make sure this baby comes out as healthy as is humanly possible.

Since Jason and I are both not much for phone calls, I thought it would be good if I had a website like this so that everyone could stay informed and involved. Our friends and family are the MOST important part of our lives, and we are very excited to share this journey with all of you.

So, here is the video of how it all started: